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The Perception of Reality Is More Real Than Reality Itself.

Perception is significantly more important than reality. Have you wondered why people go broke trying to look rich? It’s because the way you perceive these people is worth more to them than their reality. People are buying designer items they can’t afford, renting cars they can’t buy, taking pictures in movie set private jets, standing next to parked luxury vehicles like they own it… Why? So that you can think of them more like the people who can conveniently afford the same things. (This is why I show up here with receipts, screenshots and proof of purchase ok? 😂)⠀

Example – An IVY league alum, a legacy (someone who comes from several generations of wealth, fortune and fame), someone who’s friends with someone rich and/or famous, someone who dresses really well and someone who drives an AMG. Without knowing them or even speaking to them, you’ve already made assumptions about who they are, correct? Do you know if the Harvard grad is unemployed and carless? No but you have placed that person in high regard because you overheard them talking about Harvard and graduating from Harvard Business School. ⠀⠀

Who a person thinks you are at first is more important than who you actually are. If they don’t perceive you to be worthy of their time and effort, it doesn’t matter if you’re the best person on this planet, it’s not going to go anywhere. ⠀

How was I able to date high value men while I was unemployed, carless and furnitureless? How was I able to make high value friends who introduced me to high society? Well, if you present yourself as someone who has her life together, people will see you as someone who has her life together, and you don’t have to lie about anything. ⠀⠀

The reason I was able to confidently date super wealthy men while I lacked a few things is because I’m a good, confident storyteller. I have taught and continue to teach women ways to change other people’s perceptions of them. With the stories you tell by how you act, look and speak, you can change the perception of how much you’re really worth. This is why I have taught and will continue to teach women how to be fantastic storytellers and change their narrative. 

Instead of talking about how you don’t have a car, talk about how you’re thinking of starting your own makeup line. Instead of talking about how you don’t have a job, have a conversation that shows how knowledgeable you are in your field of study. Instead of focusing on your H&M dress, compliment and speak on one designer item the other person is wearing. By confidently focusing on the things you have going for yourself, little to no emphasis is being placed on the things you lack. Instead of seeing you as a woman who is unemployed and carless, you’re seen as someone who is intelligent, ambitious and on her way to success. ⠀

Random train of thought: I used to be more confident when I didn’t have much than I do now. Maybe it’s because I didn’t have anything to lose?

Have the confidence of a Harvard legacy even though your bank account says otherwise.

“If someone perceives something to be true, it is more important than if it is in fact true. This doesn’t mean you should be duplicitous or deceitful, but don’t go out of your way to correct an assumption if it plays to your advantage.” – Unknown.

⠀Please leave me a message, I’m curious to know your thoughts.


Hypergamy, The Very Personal Journey

Let me start off with a promise. I promise you, you personally don’t owe anyone anything. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you want to level up and be hypergamous. I say don’t tell them anything, and when they judge, ignore them all. 

Hypergamy isn’t only about marrying rich, it’s about marrying UP. Better social class, better manners and better education. It’s about marrying the Caviar of men, the Ivy League of men and it’ll surprise you how niche “this” is. 9/10 people will never understand your desire for more out of a partner and out of life, which is a reason I created Hypergamy Her. I created this space to have a place to talk about choosing to marry better quality men. I am constantly working to make this a safe place for likeminded women to talk about their journey and desires for the best things in life. Hypergamy is a personal journey and it’ll do you a great deal of good if you keep that journey to yourself or only share it with likeminded women.

I didn’t tell any man I dated about “hypergamy”. I just vetted and dated rich men like they were regular men, because they are. When I started my journey, I got really weird looks from strangers whenever I’d walk into a restaurant with my now husband. (I wrote a post on why I chose to be in an age gap relationship and all my hypergamous relationships have been age gap as well.) I knew they were misjudging me but quite frankly, I didn’t care. So many of my family members tried to discourage me, telling me to settle with one of the young boys I grew up with, but I knew I wanted more. Did I explicitly call it hypergamy? No! I didn’t even know there was a word for what I wanted, but I knew I wanted so much more. “Friends, family, this is Tom Hiddleston, the handsome, amazing man I’ve been dating. He’s kind, he’s loving, he takes good care of me and he’s extremely sweet.” The fact that you set your sights on Tom Hiddleston isn’t something anybody needs to know. To the world, he is Loki but to you, he’s just Tom and you’ll introduce him as such. When I was ready to introduce my husband, I introduced him as “John Doe, the kind, sweet, loving man who’s gone above and beyond to make me happy.” not “John Doe, the insanely rich, older, white guy who buys me diamonds and Cartier.”

On this journey, you will be misjudged, you will be poorly labeled, you will be discouraged and when you start to succeed, you will be hated, you will be gossiped about, you will be envied and you will be mocked. But you will be unbothered because you’ll be on your $100,000 Hästens mattress till 10am, then your personal chef will serve you breakfast in bed, after which you will notice on your husband’s side, he left you the sweetest note and a $10,000 Cartier bracelet letting you know he’ll be thinking of you throughout the day and you should go shopping for something hot to wear for dinner. You will soak in your imported tub then take a shower in your spa-sized custom shower. You will walk into your closet which is the size of a small football field and won’t find anything to wear till you give up and throw on a $2000 jumpsuit that you forgot you had. Then you will take the elevator to the garage where you will decide whether to take one of your husband’s cars or your Range Rover. I vote Lamborghini. You will go out in a $500,000+ car to a department store of your choice where you’ll find a $5000 dress that’s to die for, for dinner. You can decide to grab lunch with your friend who just bought a rare Chanel purse and wants to show you or you could go home and get ready for Pilates. Dinner time comes and your husband sends a limo, a dozen roses and a bottle of Dom to come get you because unfortunately, his meeting went on longer than planned and didn’t want to risk being late. You arrive at his office and he looks smashing. He puts a diamond necklace on you to complete your look and he can’t stop staring at you because he adores you. You go have dinner at a high-end restaurant where you both catch up. You both go home together, further enjoy each other’s company and then off to bed on your $100,000 mattress. Your haters will still be there, hating away while you continue to enjoy the amazing life you deserve. Don’t give up and don’t let anybody see you sweat!