Isn’t it interesting how everybody seems to have an opinion on the type of man you should be dating to marry? They have all these characteristics and features as if they’ll be going into the marriage with you, but they won’t. It’s bizarre! People swear they know who’s good for you, but they don’t. Only you can truly know who fits into the vision you have for your future.
Please, date men who are good for you. Not good for your mum or your dad, not good for your cousins, friends, neighbors, colleagues, but good for you! Good for your present, good for your future, good for your faith and good for your children.
Let me tell you something, a lot of people who have opinions on who you should be with only care about the wedding, not the marriage. My mum always had an opinion on who I should be dating. It was always a friend’s son or someone I grew up with because “he’s also black, we share the same values, understand the same language, eat the same food, etc.” None of that really mattered to me because at the end of the day, those boys lacked the characteristics and morals required to be with me. ⠀
I have a friend who’s dating an Iranian man. They’ve been together since we were in A-levels. Her parents have refused to acknowledge that relationship because he’s not a black man from her country. I think it’s so weird because everybody her mum has tried to connect her with has been garbage. One of the black men from her country that she was talking to took her on a date, met her parents, then got married to the woman he told my friend was just a coursemate a few weeks after that. Her Iranian boyfriend was the nicest man I had known, before my husband. Treats her with love, respect, has a PhD and a good job, just an all-round swell guy. But her parents have refused to acknowledge that relationship just because he’s not a black man. ⠀
At the end of the day, if you marry someone just to please people other than yourself and you have this fantastic wedding, who’re you going to call at 11pm in 6months when he doesn’t come home? Will the people who forced you to marry the wrong person be there when he’s putting his hands on you? Will they open their doors when he kicks you out of your home? Will they help you out financially when he locks you out of the accounts? Please, choose wisely. Marriage is a commitment among man, wife and God. Legally, it is a commitment between 2 people. It’ll be foolish to consider people who have nothing to lose, especially when it goes against what you believe in. ⠀
Date to marry a man who is kind, God-fearing, loves you, loves your family, respects you, can provide for you, will protect you and will help you become a better person. It doesn’t matter what color his skin is or what country he’s from. You’re attracted to what you’re attracted to, it is what it is. 🤷🏽♀️